My dark day

Wednesday the 17 0f October 2008 was a day that I will call my dark day. Have you ever had a day that was so bad, so horrible that words could not describe it. I guess it was not really the day so much as my thoughts and feelings just caught up with me that day. I became so depressed, angry, and frustrated that it got the best of me. I got sick and it drained my body so much. I could not move without some part of my body hurting and my chest was hurting also. I wanted to cry. I could feel the tears form but they just would not come out. That day I thought what was the purpose of me going through all of that. All the pain, suffering, and Aguste. I really wanted to just die because I was not sure how much more I could take. I know that god has some plan for me and that there is a reason for everything but why did I have to go through all of that? I mean if he is preparing me for some great struggle or battle. Or for something so great that I need to suffer as my test for which I will be rewarded for. I have gone through so much as a child and as a person. I have gone through stuff that I wold not wish on anyone not even my worst enemy. I wonder what will come next will it be my reward or will it be more pain as a test or as a way of telling me I'm not doing something right in my life or I'm going down the wrong path. I just hope that I will be strong enough to handle what ever comes next.